im back.

much to the dismay of everybody.

actually come to think of the fact that i haven't exactly been blogging for a million years now, i dont think i have anyone even checking back at my blog anymore.

my girlfriend's off to genting!
and im missing her like crap.

i haven't exactly been able to contact her cos her phone's off, and she didn't blog like she promised to so i figured she probably couldnt get a internet connection line over at the hotel.

im missing her so much im like a walking dead soul, i cant sleep i cant eat, and no amount of makeup can cover how i look now.

im getting nothing of her except for the occasional calls she gives me from the payphones. but even so, its only a few seconds call to say hi and bye cos the money cant last that long too.

i woke up this morning, feeling very lost.

i dont even snooze on my bed anymore, i just wake up from my alarm clock. something that i havent been able to do since last year when i finished my olevels.

i went down to singapore poly to do my student card, and they refused to let me take my photo because of my hair color. im in such a damned bad mood nowadays that i just want to stand up and slap the bitch infront of me. but she suggested that i buy a temporary color hair spray to spray it black to just settle the student card photo. i said thanks and i just left the place.

i wanted to call baby when i walked out, but i realised i couldnt.

i dont know what washed over me, my over-dependence on my girlfriend, my sadness about her not being around me everyday, and my anger towards the admin staff of the school.

i walked out of school, i crossed the road and took my bus.

i sat through busstops and busstops and i delibrately missed my stop.

i felt lost, i felt empty.

and even though this is not the first time im saying this, i realised just how important you are in my life.

i sat and sat till i honestly dont know where am i.

i swear if nobody called to save me, i'd have continued sitting buses till the end of the day and cry my eyes out.

my phone rang and it took me a while to process it.

i picked it up, it was lerrick.

she "hello! where are you and kris?"

me "kris is in genting and im on a bus"

she "where you heading to?"

me "nowhere"

and at that point of time i sounded very suicidal and lost. i kept saying i dont know where am i and i dont know what to do.

i think i kind of freaked her out and she told me to get off the bus immediately and go meet her in town. but i kept saying i dont know where i am and i was very lost. she literally had to scream me out of my trance and get me off the bus.

thanks lerrick alot for saving my life. i really wouldnt know what to do because i was so damn lost and gone and i was ready to cry my eyes out.

there are times when you really miss somebody so much that you really dont know what to do. you're lost and for that moment you cant catch back your soul and mind.

i know i shouldn't be too overly dependent on you, but i can't help it.

met up with my ex-tutor and also my very very good friend later in the night. was really great catching up with her as always. im so glad i found a friend in her. :)


hope you enjoyed your day in genting my love. waiting for you to come back soon. :)